"Always remember that to argue, and win, is to break down the reality of the person you are arguing against. It is painful to lose your reality, so be kind, even if you are right." - Haruki Murakami
In the daily challenging world of business, it is quite easy to find strong characters and firm ideas and positions across the organization. Sometimes right, and sometimes wrong, but most of the time, these are their ideas and positions. When dealing with these individuals sometimes they struggle to separate who they are and how they behave - very different areas that are easily confused leading to different outcomes.
Managing such personalities is crucial for organizational harmony and success.
How to navigate turbulent waters with strong characters in the same boat? How to trust them? How to manage them either from the above, from below, or as a peer? Let's discuss it.
Understanding the Complexity of Managing Strong Personalities
Organizations are a mosaic of people and resources, with their success hinging on the sum of individual achievements. As leaders, our mission is to unlock the full potential of each team member. This involves creating an environment where everyone feels safe to voice their opinions, comfortable challenging the status quo, and supported in pushing beyond their current skill limits. By focusing on individual growth, we build a stronger, more successful collective.
In this context, it's easy to confuse a person's corporate leadership style with it's personality and it's behavior, but these are very distinct areas. Recognizing this distinction is the first step towards effective management. Strong characters often equate their ideas with their self-worth, making them defensive when challenged or confrontational from the get-go.
(1) Corporate Leadership Style
Corporate leadership style refers to the way a leader directs, motivates, and manages their team. It encompasses the methods and strategies they use to guide their team towards achieving goals. Corporate leadership styles can vary significantly, and some common ones include:
(a) Authoritative: Leaders make decisions independently and expect compliance from their team.
(b) Democratic: Leaders encourage team participation in decision-making.
(c) Transformational: Leaders inspire and motivate their team to exceed their own interests for the sake of the organization.
(d) Transactional: Leaders focus on structured tasks, rewards, and punishments to manage their team.
(e) Laissez-faire: Leaders provide minimal direction and allow team members to make decisions.
(2) Personality
Personality refers to the individual characteristics and traits that define a person’s habitual patterns of thinking, feeling, and behaving. Personality is a stable aspect of an individual and is often categorized using models like the Big Five personality traits, which include:
(a) Openness to Experience: Creativity and willingness to try new things.
(b) Conscientiousness: Reliability, organization, and attention to detail.
(c) Extraversion: Sociability and assertiveness.
(d) Agreeableness: Compassion and cooperativeness.
(e) Neuroticism: Emotional stability and tendency toward negative emotions.
(3) Behavior
Behavior refers to the actions and reactions of an individual in response to external or internal stimuli. It is the outward expression of one's personality and can vary depending on the situation. Behavior is more flexible and can change more readily compared to personality. It includes:
(a) Communication style: How a person interacts verbally and non-verbally with others.
(b) Decision-making: The process and manner in which a person makes choices.
(c) Conflict resolution: How a person handles disputes and disagreements.
(d) Work habits: A person's approach to tasks, time management, and productivity.
(4) Key Differences
(1) Scope and Focus:
(a) Corporeate Leadership Style: Pertains specifically to how a leader interacts with their team and drives them toward goals.
(b) Personality: Encompasses the broad, inherent traits that influence how a person generally thinks, feels, and behaves.
(c) Behavior: Refers to specific actions and reactions in various situations, influenced by personality and external factors.
(2) Flexibility:
(a) Corporate Leadership Style: Can be adapted and changed according to the needs of the team and organization.
(b) Personality: Relatively stable over time and less likely to change.
(c) Behavior: More adaptable and can vary from situation to situation.
(3) Influence:
(a) Corporate Leadership Style: Directly impacts team dynamics, motivation, and productivity.
(b) Personality: Influences a person’s overall approach to life and work, affecting both personal and professional interactions.
(c) Behavior: Immediate and visible actions that can affect specific situations and interactions.
(4) Context:
(a) Corporate Leadership Style: Specific to the context of leading and managing others.
(b) Personality: Broad and encompasses all aspects of an individual's life.
(c) Behavior: Situation-specific and can change based on context and environment.
Understanding these distinctions can help in developing more effective strategic leadership, fostering better interpersonal relationships, and creating environments that accommodate various personalities and behaviors.
Understanding Where We Come From
We don't all share the same background - we are not equal in nature-, and that makes a difference in how we treat others and how we expect to be treated. We are unique in the way that words impact differently in each of us, and that's not only because of the already mentioned, but also because of elements such as where we are in our career and life and how happy/satisfied we are with those. Also, we all have good and bad days, as well as very good and not-so-good days.
Some individuals may lack self-awareness about their capabilities, believing they have mastered the art of overcoming all obstacles and that they have to be seen as the strongest. While this experience and associated (over)confidence can be valuable, it's crucial to recognize that there are multiple perspectives and approaches to problem-solving. The only fair way to judge these approaches is based on how we conduct business.
"We come from different backgrounds. Some people grow up with money in their pocket, or they have a certain last name; others have nothing. But it comes down to work ethic. That's where we all play on the same playing field." Jessica Parker Kennedy
Irrespective of outcomes, trust is the cornerstone of any successful team. Establishing trust with strong personalities involves showing respect for their ideas, even when you disagree. This doesn't mean avoiding conflict but handling it with empathy and kindness. Remember Murakami's words: winning an argument can feel like breaking someone's reality.
Approach disagreements with a mindset of understanding rather than conquering.
5 Strategies for Managing Strong Personalities
Business Strategy 1: Active Listening
Demonstrate that you value their input by genuinely listening. This builds respect and opens channels for effective communication.
Business Strategy 2: Constructive Feedback
Provide feedback that focuses on behavior and its impact, not on their character. This helps in addressing issues without making them feel attacked.
Business Strategy 3: Empathy and Understanding
Put yourself in their shoes. Understand the reasons behind their strong positions and address their concerns with empathy.
Business Strategy 4: Clear Communication
Be clear and concise in your expectations and feedback. Ambiguity can lead to misunderstandings and unnecessary conflicts.
Business Strategy 5: Collaborative Problem Solving
Involve them in decision-making processes. This not only leverages their strengths but also makes them feel valued and respected.
Managing Strong Personalities from Different Perspectives
"The test of a student is not how much he knows, but how much he wants to know." - Alice Wellington Rollins
(1) From Above
As a leader, it's crucial to set the tone. Encourage an environment of mutual respect and open communication. Lead by example in handling conflicts with empathy and kindness.
(2) From Below
When managing up, it's important to show respect and understand the pressures your superior faces. Frame your feedback and suggestions in a way that aligns with their goals.
(3) As a Peer
Peer-to-peer management requires building alliances and understanding each other's strengths. Support each other and address conflicts with a collaborative approach.
Keeping Your Demons Close
"Keep your friends close and your enemies closer," goes the old adage. In the business world, this means keeping those strong personalities, who might be challenging to manage, close to you. Why? Because proximity allows you to better understand their motivations, fears, and strengths. By keeping these individuals close, you can turn potential adversaries into allies.
(1) Mentorship Opportunities
Use your position to mentor them. Help them channel their strengths positively and address their weaknesses. This not only improves their performance but also builds loyalty and trust.
(2) Regular Check-Ins
Have frequent one-on-one meetings. This shows that you care about their development and are invested in their success.
(3) Leveraging Their Strengths
Strong personalities often come with unique strengths. Identify these and leverage them for the benefit of the team. This helps in turning potential challenges into opportunities.
(4) Creating a Supportive Environment
By keeping them close, you can create an environment that supports their growth while aligning their goals with the organization's vision.
Your Personal Decision
As part of this journey, it's essential to recognize the difference between those who are willing and capable of change and those who are not. Not everyone is ready to embark on the transformational path to becoming highly elevated leaders. You must decide, with compassion, whether you are willing to invest your time and energy into helping them transform. This path will not be easy, and it will likely involve sacrifices and costs. Transformation can be a painful process — for you, the other, the organization, and the business.
It's also important to differentiate whether you are trying to change a particular corporate leadership style or an entire personality, as these are very different challenges. Molding a corporate leadership style requires the individual to have a solid backbone, grounded in values and principles that can support them and guide them. Before starting this journey, the individual needs to have a clear understanding of who they are and what they stand for. They must define their real purpose, objectives, and the desired outcomes for the business and themselves.
“The human mind is so constructed that it cannot begin to understand the new until it has done everything in its power to relate it to the old.” - Henri Bergson
If you are eventually trying to change a personality, the challenge becomes a herculean mission for which the balancing of the investment and the potential outcomes need to be pondered carefully. The winning outcomes can be beyond conceivable, however, the downsize with an unsuccessful outcome can come with a very high cost for all parties - including the business.
(1) Assessing the Potential for Change
To effectively guide someone through transformation, you must assess their potential for change:
(a) Willingness to Change
Are they open to feedback and willing to make the necessary adjustments? This willingness is a critical first step.
(b) Capability for Change
Do they have the necessary skills and emotional intelligence to adapt their corporate leadership style? Capability goes beyond willingness; it involves having the tools and mindset to implement change.
(c) Readiness for Change
Are they in a stable position to undertake significant change? Readiness is about ensuring that the timing is appropriate and that they have the mental and emotional bandwidth to commit to the transformation process.
(2) The Role of Compassion in Corporate Leadership
Compassionate corporate leadership is about understanding and addressing the needs and challenges of those you lead. When deciding whether to invest in someone's transformation, consider the following:
(a) Empathy
Understand their personal and professional context. What drives them? What fears or insecurities might they have?
(b) Support
Provide the resources, mentorship, and support they need to succeed. This includes training, coaching, and a supportive environment that encourages growth.
(c) Patience
Change doesn't happen overnight. Be prepared for setbacks and slow progress. Celebrate small victories along the way to keep them motivated.
(3) Defining Purpose and Objectives
For a successful transformation, clarity of purpose and objectives is crucial:
(a) Self-Awareness
The individual must have a clear understanding of their strengths, weaknesses, and core values. This self-awareness forms the basis for any meaningful change.
(b) Purpose
They need to identify their true purpose within the organization. What are their personal and professional goals? How do these align with the organization's mission and vision?
(c) Objectives
Define specific, measurable outcomes that they aim to achieve through this transformation. These objectives should be aligned with the broader goals of the organization and provide a clear direction for their development.
Please, let me reiterate the initial quote, as it stands very true about the delicate process of transformation:
"Always remember that to argue, and win, is to break down the reality of the person you are arguing against. It is painful to lose your reality, so be kind, even if you are right." - Haruki Murakami
Closing Remarks
As we navigate the complexities of managing strong personalities, it's important to pause and reflect on our own corporate leadership journey. Are we truly practicing the empathy, kindness, and understanding that we preach? Do we approach conflicts with a genuine desire to find common ground, or are we subconsciously seeking to conquer and prove our superiority?
True corporate leadership is not about breaking down others' realities but about building bridges that connect diverse perspectives. It's about creating an environment where every voice is heard, every strength is valued, and every challenge is met with a spirit of collaboration.
So, take a moment to look inward. Are there strong personalities within your sphere that you've written off as "too difficult" or "beyond help"? Could a shift in your approach, a deeper understanding of their context, open doors to untapped potential?
The path to becoming an elevated leader is not an easy one, but it's a journey worth taking. It requires constant self-reflection, a willingness to learn and grow, and the courage to challenge our own assumptions. Only then can we truly inspire and empower those around us to reach their highest potential.
“Work isn't supposed to be easy, it's supposed to be gratifying.” - Ken Segall
For true transformation begins within, and the ripples of that change have the power to positively impact not just individuals, but entire organizations and communities.
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I love this perspective on Stoicism. Thanks for sharing.
Excellent article and very useful. It gives me some good tips that I will for sure us. Keep it up!